By not taking up the opportunities, by saying no, by taking the route well taken and by just being contented with mediocrity there will be no doubts that life would have just been easier and possibly happier for me for there won't be extended pressures, concerns and plain exhaustions.
Taking the path that I am currently travelling on is certainly tough because of my intense hunger for my goals. It is tiring. It is straining my health. It is slowly morphing me into somebody else. At times I wonder whether all these worth my time and effort but I do know by not taking the risks I wouldn't have a chance to achieve what I want. To some, it is a form of enslaving oneself and thus losing one's freedom but to me freedom is achieving what I want. Failing to obtain my goals, I understand, would really enslave myself in this bloody rat race.
Giving up is not an option. Perhaps I have too much of it from the management that it has become so deeply ingrained in my mind. As a person who almost entirely rely on myself for emotional support this journey is indeed mind boggling, difficult and sometimes outright weird. Is this sustainable, I wonder.
Being told that I looked stressed, losing weight and shunning hangouts are certainly signs that this journey is taking a toll on me. I wonder whether I have regrets. No. In fact I am yearning for more and more. I have come to realise that I have become increasingly greedy which I do not know at what level is the contentment level.
I am physically exhausted, I am emotionally drained and partially blocked out mentally. What is really driving me on is this embedded spirit to fight and keep fighting. Stubbornly fighting and do not understand the meaning of surrender. Will this trait turn me into some ruthless individual devoid of humane touch?
Whatever it is I have to keep going on because I know I have a purpose for my existence in this realm. For what purpose? Only time and the efforts I put in will tell.
Taking the path that I am currently travelling on is certainly tough because of my intense hunger for my goals. It is tiring. It is straining my health. It is slowly morphing me into somebody else. At times I wonder whether all these worth my time and effort but I do know by not taking the risks I wouldn't have a chance to achieve what I want. To some, it is a form of enslaving oneself and thus losing one's freedom but to me freedom is achieving what I want. Failing to obtain my goals, I understand, would really enslave myself in this bloody rat race.
Giving up is not an option. Perhaps I have too much of it from the management that it has become so deeply ingrained in my mind. As a person who almost entirely rely on myself for emotional support this journey is indeed mind boggling, difficult and sometimes outright weird. Is this sustainable, I wonder.
Being told that I looked stressed, losing weight and shunning hangouts are certainly signs that this journey is taking a toll on me. I wonder whether I have regrets. No. In fact I am yearning for more and more. I have come to realise that I have become increasingly greedy which I do not know at what level is the contentment level.
I am physically exhausted, I am emotionally drained and partially blocked out mentally. What is really driving me on is this embedded spirit to fight and keep fighting. Stubbornly fighting and do not understand the meaning of surrender. Will this trait turn me into some ruthless individual devoid of humane touch?
Whatever it is I have to keep going on because I know I have a purpose for my existence in this realm. For what purpose? Only time and the efforts I put in will tell.
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